Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Happy Birthday PJ!

Today is the sixtieth birthday of the great American satirist and Libertarian, PJ O'Rourke.

One could hardly let the day go by without quoting my current top ten all time great PJ quotes:

10. I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck.

9. The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners'.

8. The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then get elected and prove it.

7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

6. In fact, safety has no place anywhere. Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the trotters.) And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It is impossible to be alive and safe.

5. Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport— two armed entrĂ©es battling to see who'll be dinner.

4. The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.

3. Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty— their power and privilege— to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by ... politicians.

2. You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity. And forget traditional character assassination; if you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.

1. I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed an sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.

As always- a Genius: Have a happy day, PJ !

2 comments:

Ed said...

You made my day, thank you. Watch out for some of those appearing in a facebook favourite quotes section near you soon...

:-)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious:

http://www.olimu.com/Notes/Foreigners/Foreigners.htm